Feeling trapped, unhappy…


This post is a response to a man who felt trapped in a monogamous marriage.

I also included a couple of other aspects of sexual freedom and personal satisfaction in this short essay/response.

Personal dissatisfaction after obtaining your desire

The lack of being excited in your relationship

Becoming bored with your beloved, not respecting the individual

No boundaries, just expectations

Focusing on wants instead of what fulfills you

Disappointment with self, not acknowledging your mistake

Mistreatment of your partner

Ignoring your partner

Placing blame in the wrong place for all of the wrong reasons

Heartbreaking return

Well, not only was there a murder of my only born child. The mud slinging campaign has started.

I’m not the type to bad mouth anyone. I will stand up for myself. It seems that they see my silence as a form of weakness.

I will speak in court for my daughter and myself. Seek counsel to stay grounded and meditation to stay focused and kind despite my troubles.

I will be okay. Sunrise to sunset, one foot in front of the other to keep going forward, just don’t give in to my enemies.

Be blessed, no matter how hard your enemies make your life feel like these days. Some days it has to rain, other days it will shine. There is always a rainbow somewhere…


I took a break and lived life a bit.

Being human suck ass and had to move, was homeless for three months…

To be continued…

Then I was rudely interrupted by my daughter’s murder. The shock, shame, sadness and sorrow hit me like a truck full speed into oblivion…

Domestic violence murder was my worst nightmare and the storm has just begun.

Peace and dreams

No matter how calculating, cold, cruel this world is don’t let it take away your dream, peace of mind, sanity, humanity away from you.

There is a TON of negativity around us and it hurts, everyone and everything.

From bullying to the increased narcissism seeping into our lives, especially television.  What we see effects us more than we care to think.  Words do hurt, more than being if not the same as physical abuse.

Love, peace and dreams are being lost to inhumane, brutal, anti-empathic, uncompassionate ways of living.  Where is your Soul?

Your purpose, intent, the reason why we are here is in there, somewhere. Growing up in a violent place, I can see how someone would not know their Soul if it was dangled in front of their face.

Yes, my childhood was bad.

I found my Soul when we discovered mass graves of women and children, overseas. It ached, screamed, got angry, my Soul–no one deserves to die, not like that, peace is needed, everyone is suffering and mistrusting for all of the wrong reason and what was trusted is no longer working for the status quo.  Greed is a tool being used to destroy us. Survival is not enough anymore, we need a plan.

I will meditate on this ever expanding problem.



Appreciation of Abilities

The little things that people think we don’t need goes a long way…

Such as being able to write something very significant that effect one’s life.  I recently decided that writing and tarot reading is a bit difficult.  No one can do two things at once.

I will write when my energy is stronger, when my words have more meaning and purpose to my potential audience.  I know I need improvement like no one’s business but physically, this brain tumor wore me out a bit, so has the divorce and physical therapy.  I had to rest, heal and restore my energy levels.

I, no longer take for granted my ability to write anything that I am passionate about these days.  The subject matter of life, philosophy, religion, the systems that effect how we live is more than enough to write about 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Those are a few things I like to write about these days.

By the way, this Mercury retrograde is ripping me a new one, right now, and I dislike it.  So, I decided to go back and review what I should write about for future articles. Saturn, I need your help getting disciplined.

Insight is another ability people take for granted, so is being an empath.  This world is narcissistic on many levels, more hurt and pain, resistance to paternalistic structures are now on the war path.  The wounded Feminine Divine is on the rise, no longer accepting being marginalized, subjected to the harsh conditioning of patriarchal abusive ways.  Awareness is another ability that has been undermined.  Women’s awareness of sexual inequalities is seeing spiritual, mental, physical manifestation, at last.

Take care of yourselves and your communities.